12 Akhs-a-Mocking

1. Oakland: Calvin Johnson WR G-Tech. Still nothing changes, holding out Randy Moss from offseason workouts add fuel to the Johnson fire.
2. Tampa Bay(from Detroit—Detroit gets pick 4 and DE Simeon Rice): Adrian Peterson Rb Oklahoma. Jaws drop at this pick, and jaws drop even more when they announce that they’ve dealt Cadillac Williams and their first 2nd rounder to the Titans for their first rounder and a 3rd rounder.
3. Cleveland: JaMarcus Russell Qb LSU. The Browns sprint up to the podium with this pick.
4. Atlanta(from Detroit[from Tampa Bay]—Detroit gives up the #4 and DE Kalimba Edwards, Atlanta gives up pick #8 and their natural 2nd): Amobi Okoye DT Louisville. Okoye’s draft stock is still shooting up and Petrino knows him well.
5. Arizona: Joe Thomas OT Wisconsin. Another pick where the team’s official sprints to the podium
6. St Louis(from Washington—Washington gets pick 13 and St Louis’ 2nd rounder): Alan Branch DT Michigan. They need a DT badly. Right now, they were planning to just have Little and James Hall put out orange cones between them.
7. Minnesota: Gaines Adams DE Clemson Community College. The Vikings have some obvious holes, but DE is a major one. Adams will benefit from the Williams’.
8. Detroit(from Atlanta[from Houston]): Brady Quinn QB Notre Dame. The Lions are having a great draft. Picked up Simeon Rice, and a 2nd rounder to drop down for the player they really like. Quinn’s stock is dropping on his attitude.
9. Miami: Patrick Willis MLB Ole Miss. The odometer on Zach Thomas is clicking over. He’s still a top flight MLB, but Willis give them amazing LB talent for the 3-4, and replaces Thomas eventually.
10. Houston(from Atlanta): Leon Hall Cb Michigan. An extremely underrated prospect who will thrive in the Houston defense.
11. San Francisco: LaRon Landry S LSU. San Fran jumps at the opportunity to get a playmaker for their defense. Landry is probably an undersized SS more than a Ed Reed type though.
12. Buffalo: Marshawn Lynch Rb California. They replace McGahee nicely.
13. Chicago(from Washington[from St Louis]—Washington gets WLB Lance Briggs, pick 37 and a 3rd rounder from Chicago): Greg Olsen TE Miami
14. Carolina: Robert Meachem WR Tennessee
15. Washington(from Pittsburgh—Pittsburgh gets picks 37, 52 and Cb Shawn Springs): Jamal Anderson DE Arkansas. A lot of razzle, dazzle and boring the hell out of the MSG audience, but the Redskins get major upgrades to their defense with Briggs and Jamal Anderson.
16. Green Bay: Adam Carriker DE Nebraska. KGB is getting real old and Kampman could use a tag team guy at DE to take some pressure off of him.
17. Jacksonville: Levi Brown OT PSU. With Khalif Barnes’ hilarious traffic stop, LT might be a priority for the Jags.
18. Cincy: Darrelle Revis Cb Pittsburgh. Fast, quick, polished..and no felony record.
19. Tampa Bay(from Tennessee): Dwayne Bowe WR LSU. Tampa had done a good job adding offensive talent. Bowe is more polished and more talented than Clayton was.
20. Giants: Joe Staley OT CMU. A ton of holes for the Giants, but they need an OT badly.
21. Denver: Jarvis Moss DE Florida. Defensive Line playmaker who should thrive in Bates’ system.
22. New England(from Dallas—Dallas gets pick 28 and WR Chad Jackson): Reggie Nelson S Florida
23. Kansas City: Steve Smith WR USC. A fast rising prospect who will go much higher than expected. Really polished prospect also.
24. New England(from Seattle): Paul Posluszny LB PSU. Can play all over the LB corps, very polished and a great leader. He’ll thrive in the Belichek defense.
25. Jets: Chris Houston CB Arkansas. The Jets need speed and talent on defense Houston needs work on his technique, but he’s a massive talent.
26. Philadelphia: Sidney Rice WR SC. Still, they need a Flanker for their WR corps. Rice has good size and hands.
27. New Orleans: Justin Harrell DT Tennessee. They need defensive talent, and Harrell is a major steal. He’ll be a force since teams are focused on the ends.
28. Dallas(from New England): Tony Ugoh OT Arkansas. Despite signing Leonard Davis, they still need help at OT. Adams and Columbo don’t inspire confidence.
29. Baltimore: Ben Grubbs OG Auburn. Their Oline will be reworked and Grubbs is a good building block.
30. San Diego: Michael Griffin S Texas. A perfect match for both.
31. Chicago: Drew Stanton QB Michigan State. The offensive reworking continues in Chi-Town. Stanton and Olsen really help their anemic offense.
32. Indianapolis: Jon Beason Lb Miami. Versatile Lb who can play anywhere and will start immediately.